The Leap

Making the decision to give up arguably the best job in the company to jump into the unknown.

"WTF?!" Something I heard several times after I made it public that I had decided to step down from my CEO position at arguably the coolest and fastest growing company within my lifelong employer, Aetna. And what was even more crazy? I didn't feel an ounce of regret.

The journey that led up to that decision was long and non-linear. In my first Blog, I thought I would share a bit more about the process and thoughts I had as I decided to make "the leap".

THE ITCHY PHASE

It all starts with an itch. Although I had spent my career "first half" working for one company, every 3-4 years inevitably the itch would arrive. I always said I was a bit of a masochist; just when I hit my stride - was seen as the authority, things came easily, I was well respected - I would desire more. Even after I had experience and knew that every time I switched I would inevitably experience a "regret zone", I still couldn't ignore the itch.

As the years passed, I realized that this itch was more than an itch. It also marked the absence of inspiration. I had spent so much time exhaling - breathing as much life as possible into others - that I realized it was time for me now to re-fuel my inspiration air tank. I still loved the people, the mission and the intellectual stimulation it brought every single day.

I had spent so much time exhaling - breathing as much life as possible into others - that I realized it was time for me now to re-fuel my inspiration air tank.

I realized that having a challenge inspires me. I literally crave a challenge like I crave chocolate (and I'm a chocolate addict, I admit it). I crave proving to myself and admittedly, to others, that I can do something I or others thought not possible. When I get that inspiration, it literally feels like Christmas Eve and I am getting ready to wrap the most exciting present we got for our kids. I know you've felt it too. Knowing and capitalizing on your own personal inspiration can be the difference between night and day.

THE CATALYST

Once I knew the itch was approaching, I started my standard "discovery" phase, which always includes asking myself two simple questions: 1) Where was my family at and what needs were unmet? 2) What next big thing(s) did I want to learn that would ensure I was approx. 50% uncomfortable?

I recall contemplating these questions early on in my discovery phase. I was on a business trip, and I sat next to a nice woman on the plane. I learned that she had left the corporate world many years ago to start her own company. She beamed happiness and inspiration. I was intrigued and began to ask her all about it.

I told her I was considering my next move, and much to my surprise, I was thinking that it might not be at the company I had worked for all my career thus far. I also expressed that I must be crazy, as my reputation was strong and I was essentially considered a "rising star". She looked at me and so quickly, succinctly and matter of factly and said, "Who says this is the top?". I realized then that my definition of the top was largely based off of looking from one mountain range, and I hadn't even contemplated that there may be many other mountain tops that I couldn't even see from where I was standing.

'Who says this is the top?' I realized then that my definition of the top was largely based off of looking from one mountain range, and I hadn't even contemplated that there may be many other mountain tops that I couldn't even see from where I was standing.

THE DECISION

I identified several options and paths during my discovery phase. Different than the past though, this were not distinct jobs. I identified categories and opportunities, and most importantly, I identified that the thing I needed most to scratch my itch, which was 50% ambiguity and 50% space to experiment in that world of ambiguity. It was an option so unclear to define (including to my poor husband), yet so clear to me at the same time, that it was the perfect scratch to my itch.

I also had several options in my bucket, one of which was the one I had the most passion for (heart) but knew was the least practical (head). That was to start my own business, tackling a very personal problem. I realized that while I endured a very stressful job (not all times but trust me, I had some memorable "moments" - maybe a future Blog!)...that this stress paled in comparison to the stress I endured nearly every day trying to manage my children's lives; their activities, school events, forms...ahhhhh!

It was an option so unclear to define (including to my poor husband), yet so clear to me at the same time, that it was the perfect scratch to my itch.

One day it hit me - catalyzed by a few inspiring conversations that put me over the edge - if not me, then who? (older generations may refer to this as sh$% or get off the pot). So I'm doing it (plug: "The Project"). Boom.

And I also realized that I still desired being around people, inspiring people, teaching and learning from people. So I decided to also set out and experiment in the consulting world as well (plug: see "Services"). Most exciting, I had an epiphany one day that these were not divergent dreams. That each path's missions were aligned with an authentic and personal mission driven deep inside me (plug: see "My Mission").

THE JOURNEY

It's important to let you know that I have no idea what the middle or ending of this story will be. I can't fully articulate my 5-year plan. I can't provide you a detailed business plan and projections for my next career. At the same time, I have incredible confidence in the path I'm taking. Maybe it's the 300+ inspiring Podcasts I've listened to over the last year. Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's that I don't regret a single move and risk I've made in the past. And maybe it's that I'm simply crazy.

Stay tuned to find out.

Cheers!

-erin

My first ever champagne uncorking. Feels as joyous as starting this new adventure.

#followyourdreams #authenticity #career #inspiration